I’m sitting in my condo and it is 84 degrees in here.
On top of some challenges this week, I walked into my home yesterday and was welcomed by a wall of warmth and humidity. As I disarmed the alarm system I glanced up at the thermostat and it greeted me with a surprising 84 degree marquis. It hit 100 yesterday outside.My immediate response was frustration. I was confronted.
The always present debate team in my head began volleying the problem against the data I had collected on my a/c unit in the last year. The system ran and cooled sufficiently however, I was informed at the last maintenance check that I may need to undergo open heart surgery and fork out thousands for a system overhaul. Dropping articles of clothing one by one onto the floor and acknowledging perspiration droplets populating my upper lip, I danced with denial a bit longer….and then…..I acquiesced to the debate committee.
It is what it is. Now I have to deal with it. There was freedom in the acknowledgment.
Resisting the facts was not going to get me to a solution.
Sitting with discomfort is not easy for me. There is the physical discomfort of the heat and the inconvenience it causes to my life. And then there is the financial discomfort of parting with the money. 24 hours later, I have had time to think about discomfort and how I operate inside of it. Maybe it is part of the human condition…pleasure seeking, pain avoidance.
I’ve been in an inquiry about how often I get to the brink of discomfort and resist it or pop out of it. I take a less challenging direction so I can avoid being uncomfortable. How often do I act in this way and what is the cost of this behavior? What would it look like if I pushed through the discomfort and stretched myself? Who would I become? What could I achieve? What might I learn? How might I grow?
So far there is no profound catharsis other than the noticing… and a willingness to lean into my discomfort and not be so quick to avoid it.
I’m on my way to a cool hotel room now……..(let’s not go crazy here).What’s in your life is what you choose. Choose consciously and powerfully.